Chasing Shadows

 

Today was simply beautiful. The temperature was warm in the 60s with no wind and the sun shone brightly in the baby blue sky -perfect conditions for a lovely fall run with Monkey.

On the track today we ran together holding hands and crossing the finish line together so we both ‘won.’ We chased our shadows, stepped on each other’s shadow, and merged our shadows into one ‘monster’ shadow. Monkey also picked the few remaining dandelions.

On our way to the creek, she fell asleep and napped for maybe 15 minutes. She woke up in time to stop at the creek and toss sticks into the water.

I got a great workout pushing Monkey in her jogging stroller up a hill because our regular route was blocked by big tree limbs that fell down during the snow we had a week ago.

A metaphorical tree limb fell in my path on Friday and rather than turn to God for the strength and wisdom to navigate, I panicked. I’m deeply ashamed to admit that I blamed God for putting the tree in my way as punishment. I stumbled over the limb, tripped and got trapped in the tiny branches. Only when I was completely helpless did I realize that I was blaming God because I didn’t trust him as much as I thought.

It’s a challenge for me to trust God when something bad happens, but I desperately want to trust in God as Job did – “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job 1:22). I have to stop obsessing over what has happened. I’ve been living with it, enduring it, but not accepting it and trusting God to take care of it. It’s time to stop chasing shadows of why, what if and what will. It’s time to start admitting my own powerlessness and recognizing who is all powerful.

4 thoughts on “Chasing Shadows

  1. This is not just great writing, Brianna, but powerful honesty. The analogy is perfect. You are in my prayers and on my heart.
    Much love and many blessings!
    Pam

  2. N. and I were also chasing shadows today, not in the metaphorical sense, but like you and Monkey. :) As for the metaphorical ones… It isn’t easy, and you have to remember that you are after all human. God forgives us our sins, why shouldn’t you forgive yourself if you sometimes fail to live up to the ideal?

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